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 Mission chain the alantians 
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2011 8:11 pm
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I came up with this mission chain, any thoughts


Mission name: The Hyper Beacon
Un-gray requirements: none
Description: Researches have just developed blueprints to build a new scanning system. The new Beacon can help us find and locate new planets. All you need to do is build it
Becomes available: rank 210
Per round requirements: 200 energy, 50 exotic matter, and 5 complex tech parts
Per round rewards: 450experience
Per completion reward: Modified Hyper Beacon- size 10-scanning 100
Risks: none
Number of rounds and completions: 30 rounds, 2 completions
Previous mission: none
Next mission: Harnessing the Beacon




Mission name: Harnessing the Beacon
Un-gray requirements: scan 1000
Description: The Beacon is fully operational. We do not know the power it holds though. We want you to try it out. What are you waiting for, what’s the worst that could happen?
Becomes available: after the hyper Beacon
Per round requirements: 50 energy
Per round rewards: 120 experience
Per completion reward: Planet Scan Data- reveals location of a planet very large or bigger with very rich production or higher
Risks: minor explosion
Number of rounds and completions: 50 rounds, 4 completions
Previous mission: The Hyper Beacon
Next mission: The Beacons power



Mission name: The Beacons power
Un-gray requirements: none
Description: The Beacon is more powerful than we thought. It was able to seek out a planet in the farthest corner of the universe. The planet seems to be a little mysterious. We want you to go check it out.
Per round requirements: 25 energy
Per round rewards: 60 experience
Per completion reward: none
Number of rounds and completions: 60 rounds, 8 completions
Previous mission: Harnessing the Beacon
Next mission: Exploring the Planet



Mission name: Exploring the Planet
Un-gray requirements: scan 1200
Description: Now that you are over at the planet I want you to investigate it. See if there is anything on it. It may be worth it
Per round requirements: 100 energy
Per round rewards: 220 experience
Per completion reward: none
Number of rounds and completions: 10 rounds, 2 completions
Previous mission: The Beacons Power
Next mission: the Graveyard



Mission name: The graveyard
Un-gray requirements: none
Description: With the data collected we found something astonishing. There were bones to another civilization. We also found a strange piece of writing. Using a decoding machine we were able to read it, the tablet says “Warning to all who read, something terrible came upon us, run before it is too late. The great civilization of the Alantians was ruined by this monster. All that is left of use is on the planet of ortraceny in the wajjen sector of the jovian galaxy. They can help you there” We want you to find the Alantians. Here take this to help you.
Per round requirements: 25 energy
Per round rewards: 55 experience
Per completion reward: Alantian satellite jammer- size 5 cloak 40
Number of rounds and completions: 150 rounds, 2 completions
Previous mission: Exploring the Planet
Next mission: The last Alantians



Mission name: The last Alantians
Un-gray requirements: none
Description: Welcome to ortraceny the last planet of the Alantians. I am yurquisen the leader of this planet. I would need your help, we need your help. We a about to be destroyed and so are you. Wait let me tell you our story, we evolved from the planet of Alantias. Sadly it was destroyed. Why you ask, because of the Automic gamma Cannon. It has the power to destroy stars. This Cannon turns all stars to black holes. The more there are the stronger it gets. Plus, the Black holes are ripping away the space time continuum. The only way to destroy it is to destroy all the rouge alantians. They control the beacon. They broke apart from us centuries ago. They are led by Ubartuis the 3rd. could you please save us. The rouge Alantians are out there but watch out they have smaller versions of the cannons out there.
Per round requirements: 25 energy 1 Alantian ship vault
Per round rewards: 55experience
Per completion reward: Modified gamma cannon- size 10 attack 120
Number of rounds and completions: 50 rounds, 2 completions
Previous mission: The graveyard
Next mission: The Mother ships
Alantian gamma ship- scaled-drops Alantian ship vault



Mission name: The Mother ships
Un-gray requirements: attack 1500
Description: there are still some Alantian ships out there. They are much stronger and more powerful than the last. The Mother ships must be handled with precautions
Per round requirements: 5 energy, 1 mother ship junkyard
Per round rewards: 20 experience
Per completion reward: The mother ship vaults- it give you 5 extra decks and 50 extra cargo
Number of rounds and completions: 20 rouns, 2 completions
Previous mission: The last Alantians
Next mission: The Alantian castle
Rouge Alantian motherships – scalled, gives you the mother ship junkyard



Mission name: The Alantian castle
Un-gray requirements: none
Description: The enemies guarding the ship holding the gamma cannon are destroyed, seize the moment and go destroy the Alantian castle
Per round requirements: 50 energy, 1 gamma graveyard
Per round rewards: 200 experience
Per completion reward: Gamma Reverser- needed for next mission
Number of rounds and completions: 1 round, 1 completion
Previous mission: The Mother ships
Next mission: The Alantian survival
Alantian Castle- Level 210 and higher- shield 150000-hull 100000-attack 4000-defense-3000-no timer- rewards to all players, the gamma graveyard is an additional reward given only to the person who alerted the boss, also gives you gamma bomb-size 20 attack 250 limit 2 per ship, or the mega-forming device-increases planet by 2 and can be used on planets up to 48x megarich.
Boss abilities- Castle- doublers-doubles att. and def. stats for 5 minutes- gamma explosion-the player who sets it off takes 500 damage- disarming bomb decreases defense of player that attacked by 10%


Mission name: The Alantian survival
Un-gray requirements: none
Description: Thank you so much, just hand the gamma reverser over and we can bring our planets back. Don’t worry, you will be rewarded greatly
Per round requirements: 1 gamma reverser
Per round rewards: The Alantian Device- allows you to become the Alantian race
Per completion reward: Alantian
Number of rounds and completions: 1 round, 1 completion
Previous mission : The Alantian castle
Next mission: TBD
Alantian- allows you to increase the research of our planets by 1. Professions: builder, Explorer, Hacker, spy, scientist(increases research by 10%)


Wed Apr 20, 2011 7:38 pm
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Joined: Mon Nov 29, 2010 9:48 am
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interesting. although i havent made too many mission chains, i have a few small suggestions. Perhapse it makes more sense to go to a planet at the furthest reaches of the galaxy, not the universe. although the beacon may be that powerful to scan a random planet at the edge of the universe, im not sure our ships could get there in our lifetimes. Also, what does the Alantian parts vault give? you didnt have it listed. One last thing, although the castle boss is intended to be very difficult, you shouldnt have it shareable. mission npcs should be a solo battle, otherwise people will wind up with more pieces than they should from that mission.

btw, just to make sure i got the story right
you make a scanner
you find a planet
you go to the planet
you find a dying race there
you kill the thriving evil version of the race
you can become part of the dying race.


for the mission, im not exactly sure how the rogue alantians go. theres one planet of good alantians, but an entire armada of bad alantians. why? also, if they used their black hole guns so much, why didnt that area of space simple get sucked into oblivion? unless there are 'white holes' around the borders of their space, continued use of the guns would destroy themselves and their enemies. Also, nothing in the mission really defines them as a research oriented species. The zolazin were defined as being heavy into cloak during their debute mission, the genetaar were the 'psychics of the galaxy' for their debute mission, i havent completed the lazuli or the taltherian missions, but by their description on the NPCs, lazuli are known for being tough ship builders, hence the hull bonus. Next time you make a mission chain, consider develloping the character traits of the race as the story progresses.

for the race, you might want to make it available earlier. Most players start maxing out their tech chains around rank 200. i know im almost done with weapons, energy, buildings, hull, and shields, and im 256. Perhapse this could become available around rank 100-125. Also, although you had a good xp ratio on these missions, i find it best to not include specifics on the details of modules or the xp required. thats the main thing people talk about when critiquing, and they completely neglect to talk about the story. I only include details of buildings, or artifacts, but thats just an opinionated suggestion.

a good first try. i admire that you were able to keep it so short. i had around 30 missions in my first mission chain. Just work on character development a bit, and try to add some plot twists through the story instead of the linear progression you have now.

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Wed Apr 20, 2011 8:08 pm
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Joined: Sat Jan 29, 2011 10:13 am
Posts: 897
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What he said ^ plus:

I like it its a pretty short sweet no nonsense storyline but I think the rewards are too powerful especially the "Modified gamma cannon- size 10 attack 120" 12 to 1 ratio is far too high.

And this bit doesnt make much sense:
Alantian Castle- Level 210 and higher- shield 150000-hull 100000-attack 4000-defense-3000-no timer- rewards to all players, the gamma graveyard is an additional reward given only to the person who alerted the boss, also gives you gamma bomb-size 20 attack 250 limit 2 per ship, or the mega-forming device-increases planet by 2 and can be used on planets up to 48x megarich.
Boss abilities- Castle- doublers-doubles att. and def. stats for 5 minutes- gamma explosion-the player who sets it off takes 500 damage- disarming bomb decreases defense of player that attacked by 10%

Shareable elite? how many players? What is a Gamma Graveyard item?

12.5 to 1 attack/deck ratio or size(resources?) +2 planet artifact. Imagine 50 people in a legion sharing this (rewards all players!!), that means everyone in the legion would get 50 artifacts totalling 2500.

You need to adjust/clarify the rewards a little more and spellcheck.

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Wed Apr 20, 2011 8:18 pm
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Joined: Sun Feb 20, 2011 9:16 pm
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It has promise, but the Taltherian race already allows you to up all your resources on a planet by 1. So this species would be pretty redundant.

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Wed Apr 20, 2011 8:31 pm
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Quaritch wrote:
It has promise, but the Taltherian race already allows you to up all your resources on a planet by 1. So this species would be pretty redundant.

Wrong they only allow upgrading artifact production.

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Wed Apr 20, 2011 8:42 pm
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yeah, being able to upgrade research on planets, with an additional 10% research with the scientist proffession would be wonderful. Especially if they were able to access it well before taltherian came available. Im guessing the Mylarai will be able to upgrade mineral production on their planets, so something like this would balance it out as far as what planets can be upgraded.

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Wed Apr 20, 2011 8:59 pm
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2011 8:11 pm
Posts: 883
Location: invading your planet
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Vekno wrote:
interesting. although i havent made too many mission chains, i have a few small suggestions. Perhapse it makes more sense to go to a planet at the furthest reaches of the galaxy, not the universe. although the beacon may be that powerful to scan a random planet at the edge of the universe, im not sure our ships could get there in our lifetimes. Also, what does the Alantian parts vault give? you didnt have it listed. One last thing, although the castle boss is intended to be very difficult, you shouldnt have it shareable. mission npcs should be a solo battle, otherwise people will wind up with more pieces than they should from that mission.

btw, just to make sure i got the story right
you make a scanner
you find a planet
you go to the planet
you find a dying race there
you kill the thriving evil version of the race
you can become part of the dying race.



the gamma graveyard is needed for one of the missions

only the player who alerted it gets the art. needed for the mission, im pretty sure I sttated it





for the mission, im not exactly sure how the rogue alantians go. theres one planet of good alantians, but an entire armada of bad alantians. why? also, if they used their black hole guns so much, why didnt that area of space simple get sucked into oblivion? unless there are 'white holes' around the borders of their space, continued use of the guns would destroy themselves and their enemies. Also, nothing in the mission really defines them as a research oriented species. The zolazin were defined as being heavy into cloak during their debute mission, the genetaar were the 'psychics of the galaxy' for their debute mission, i havent completed the lazuli or the taltherian missions, but by their description on the NPCs, lazuli are known for being tough ship builders, hence the hull bonus. Next time you make a mission chain, consider develloping the character traits of the race as the story progresses.

for the race, you might want to make it available earlier. Most players start maxing out their tech chains around rank 200. i know im almost done with weapons, energy, buildings, hull, and shields, and im 256. Perhapse this could become available around rank 100-125. Also, although you had a good xp ratio on these missions, i find it best to not include specifics on the details of modules or the xp required. thats the main thing people talk about when critiquing, and they completely neglect to talk about the story. I only include details of buildings, or artifacts, but thats just an opinionated suggestion.

a good first try. i admire that you were able to keep it so short. i had around 30 missions in my first mission chain. Just work on character development a bit, and try to add some plot twists through the story instead of the linear progression you have now.


Wed Apr 20, 2011 8:59 pm
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2011 8:11 pm
Posts: 883
Location: invading your planet
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That would be cool if at the end of the octafari chain you can be the mylari


Wed Apr 20, 2011 9:01 pm
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Joined: Fri Mar 18, 2011 6:33 am
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235drew wrote:
That would be cool if at the end of the octafari chain you can be the mylari

+1 to that :)

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Wed Apr 20, 2011 9:27 pm
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Joined: Sat May 22, 2010 6:22 pm
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Location: On the bridge of the Vikiera
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Here is my opinion: (with the usual disclaimer that I will try to be objective and don't take what I say personally)

Although the plot is good, the portrayal sounds bland.
Giving a more even flow between missions and a narrative approach to describing it will make a big difference.

Naming gets in the way a bit, as you tell about ortraceny, wajjen, jovian, yurquisen, etc.
Not everyone needs to be named, and giving too many will overwhelm players. Only strait plot characters or significant locations and materials need snazzy names.
For example, the only character I have named in my mission chains was Asran, and he was a great part of the entire Zophah Saga.
Instead of saying "They are led by Ubartuis the 3rd," you can say "They are led by a ruthless rebel/dictator/general/warlord/etc."
However, you can give a new scifi name to the race, giving your mission chain some flair without using the cliché Atlantians.

And another tip that I posted on another player's suggestions:
zophah wrote:
*when laying out details in energy cost, experience, number of turns, etc it is easier to leave it up to Dan to decide. (and you won't have to worry about it)

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I have suggested 7 Races, 5 Organizations, 3 locations, 3 materials, and 20 planets.
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Thu Apr 21, 2011 2:05 am
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2011 8:11 pm
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Location: invading your planet
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okay, thanks.


Thu Apr 21, 2011 2:07 am
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